Sources for Solo – Building a Remarkable Life of Your Own

Breaking the Rules in a World Built for Two 

PG XII 

• Thriving Center of Psych. “Single And Dating? Here Is Where Most Singles Are Living In  The US.” Published January 4, 2023. https://thrivingcenterofpsych.com/blog/dating-in 2023-here-is-where-most-singles-are-living-in-the-us

PG XIII 

• U.S. Census Bureau. “Median age at first marriage: 1890 to present.” Accessed  December 2023.  

https://www.census.gov/content/dam/Census/library/visualizations/time series/demo/families-and-households/ms-2.pdf. 

• Yau, Nathan. “Marital Status by Age.” FlowingData, December 8, 2016.  https://flowingdata.com/2016/12/08/marital-status-by-age/. 

PG XIV 

• Brown, Anna. “A Profile of Single Americans.” Pew Research Center, August 20, 2020.  https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profile-of-single-americans/. 

PG XV 

• Pew Research Center. “One-in-Four of Today’s Young Adults May Never Marry.”  Published September 23, 2014. https://www.pewresearch.org/social 

trends/2014/09/24/record-share-of-americans-have-never-married/st-2014-09-24- never-married-08/. 

• Brown, Anna. “A Profile of Single Americans.” Pew Research Center, August 20, 2020.  https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profile-of-single-americans/. • Yau, Nathan. “Change in Common Household Types in the U.S.” FlowingData, March 1,  2022. https://flowingdata.com/2022/03/01/change-in-common-household-types-in-the u-s/. 

PG XVI 

• Horowitz, Juliana Menasce, Nikki Graf, and Gretchen Livingston. “Marriage and  Cohabitation in the U.S.” Pew Research Center, November 6, 2019.  

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2019/11/06/marriage-and-cohabitation-in the-u-s/.

• Ortiz-Ospina, Esteban. “The Rise of Living Alone: How One-Person Households Are  Becoming Increasingly Common Around the World.” Our World in Data, December 10,  2019. https://ourworldindata.org/living-alone. 

PG XVII 

• Ortiz-Ospina, Esteban. “The Rise of Living Alone: How One-Person Households Are  Becoming Increasingly Common Around the World.” Our World in Data, December 10,  2019. https://ourworldindata.org/living-alone. 

PG XVIII 

• Livingston, Gretchen. “Is U.S. Fertility at an All-Time Low? Two of Three Measures Point  to Yes.” Pew Research Center, May 22, 2019. https://www.pewresearch.org/short reads/2019/05/22/u-s-fertility-rate-explained/. 

PG XXI 

• Humor Research Lab. “Humor Research Lab.” Accessed December 2023.  https://humorresearchlab.com/. 
• McGraw, Peter. “Solo Podcast.” Accessed December 2023.  

https://petermcgraw.org/podcasts/solo/. 

PG XXII 

• McGraw, Peter. “The Solo Salon.” Accessed December 2023.  

https://petermcgraw.org/solo/the-solo-salon/.  

• McGraw, Peter. “Single Insights: The Science of Solos.” Accessed December 2023.  https://petermcgraw.org/solo/single-insights/. 
• Jeffrey, Joyann. “How the ‘Solo’ Movement Is Rewriting Misconceptions of ‘Sad, Lonely’  Single Life.” Today.com, January 19, 2022. https://www.today.com/health/solo movement-challenging-stereotype-sad-lonely-single-life-rcna12717. 

PG XXIII 

• Roberson, Blythe. How to Date Men When You Hate Men. New York: Flatiron Books,  2019. 

Chapter 1. Human Domestication 

PG 1  

• Edwards, Phil. “Why the game of Life used to have poverty, suicide, and ruin.” Vox,  January 13, 2020. https://www.vox.com/2015/1/28/7924487/game-of-life-history. • Wikipedia. “The Game of Life.” Last modified November 5,  

2023. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Game_of_Life. 

• The Game of Life. Board Game Manuals Wiki, accessed December 2023. https://boardgamemanuals.fandom.com/wiki/The_Game_of_Life. 

PG 2  

• The methods and materials of demography. In Encyclopedia of Social Science Research  Methods, 285-290. California: Sage Publications, 2023. 
• Population: An introduction to concepts and issues. In Handbook of population, 233-246.  Switzerland: Springer Nature, 2023.
• United States Elections Project. “National Turnout Rates 1789-Present.” Accessed  December 2023. https://www.electproject.org/national-1789-present. 

o Correction: Election turnout in 1960 was 64% 

• Tucker, Carol. “The 1950s – Powerful Years for Religion.” USC Today, June 16, 1997.  https://today.usc.edu/the-1950s-powerful-years-for-religion/
• National Center for Education Statistics (NCES). “Rates of high school completion and  bachelor’s degree attainment among persons age 25 and over, by race/ethnicity and sex:  Selected years, 1910 through 2019.” Accessed December 2023. 

.https://nces.ed.gov/programs/digest/d19/tables/dt19_104.10.asp 

o Correction: High school completion rate in 1960 was 59%  

• Hendry, Lisa. “Australopithecus afarensis, Lucy’s species.” Natural History Museum, accessed December 2023. https://www.nhm.ac.uk/discover/australopithecus-afarensis lucy-species.html
• History.com Editors. “Lucy” Fossils Discovered. HISTORY, last updated September 6,  2022. https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/lucy-fossil-discovered.  • Correction: Homo sapiens have been around for about 200,000 years.  o Wong, Jenny, and Lisa Hendry. “The Origin of Our Species.” Natural History  Museum. Accessed December 2023. https://www.nhm.ac.uk/discover/the origin-of-our-species.html.  

PG4  

• Henrich, Joseph. The Secret of Our Success: How Culture Is Driving Human Evolution,  Domesticating Our Species, and Making Us Smarter. Princeton: Princeton University  Press, 2016. 

PG 5  

• Harari, Yuval. Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind. New York: HarperCollins, 2015. PG 6  
• Killen, M., McGlothlin, C., & Margolin, C. “The development of social norms in preschool  children.” Child Development 65, no.3 (1994): 905-916. doi:10.1111/1467- 8624.ep11801199. 
• National Geographic Education. “Domestication.” National Geographic, accessed  December 2023. https://education.nationalgeographic.org/resource/domestication/. • van der Crabben, Jan. “Agriculture in the Fertile Crescent & Mesopotamia.” World  History Encyclopedia, 22 March 2023.  

https://www.worldhistory.org/article/9/agriculture-in-the-fertile-crescent– mesopotamia/. 

o Correction: Wheat, barley, and lentils began to be domesticated after 9,500 BCE.  That was 11,525 years ago.  

PG7 

• von Hippel, William. The Social Leap: The New Evolutionary Science of Who We Are,  Where We Come From, and What Makes Us Happy. New York: Harper, 2018. PG10
• U.S. Census Bureau. “Historical Census of Housing Tables: Homeownership by Selected  Demographic and Housing Characteristics.” Last Revised October 8, 2021.  https://www.census.gov/data/tables/time-series/dec/coh-ownerchar.html
• Perry, Mark J. “Chart of the Day: Rising Household Vehicle Ownership over Time Belies  the ‘Middle Class Stagnation’ Narrative.” AEI Carpe Diem, September 24, 2013.  https://www.aei.org/carpe-diem/chart-of-the-day-rising-household-vehicle-ownership over-time-belies-the-middle-class-stagnation-narrative/. 
• Transport Geography. “Percentage of Households by Number of Vehicles, 1960-2020.”  Accessed December 2023. https://transportgeography.org/contents/chapter8/urban transport-challenges/household-vehicles-united-states/. 
• Huebler, Friedrich. “International Education Statistics.” Published January 3, 2011.  https://huebler.blogspot.com/2011/01/usa.html. 
• Statista Research Department. “Educational Attainment in the U.S. 1960-2022.” Statista, October 6, 2023. https://www.statista.com/statistics/184260/educational-attainment-in the-us/. 
• Putnam, Robert D. Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community.  New York: Touchstone Books by Simon & Schuster, 2001. 

PG11 

• Finkel, Eli J. The All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work. New York:  Dutton, 2019. 

Chapter 2: A World Built for Two 

PG 16  

• “A Woman’s Right to Shoes.” Sex and the City: Season 6, Episode 9, aired August 17,  2003. 

PG 17  

• Gahran, Amy. Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator: Uncommon Love and Life. New  York: Seal Press, 2016. 

PG19  

• Hobaica, Steven, Erica Szkody, Ian Sotomayor, Jessica Liao, and Jessica L. Schleider.  “Sexual Health Education Experiences and Recommendations from the Perspective of  LGBTQ+ Youth.” PsyArXiv, (2023). https://doi.org/10.31234/osf.io/nfm6j.  
• Brake, Elizabeth. “Amatonormativity.” In Minimizing Marriage, Chapter 4.iii. Oxford  University Press, 2012. https://elizabethbrake.com/amatonormativity/

PG20 

• Sullivan, Harry Stack. “Conceptions of Modern Psychiatry: The First William Alanson  White Memorial Lectures.” Psychiatry, Journal of the Biology and Pathology of  Interpersonal Relations 3, no. 1 (1940): 10. 
• The Holy Bible, New International Version. Bible Gateway.  

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis+2%3A24&version=NIV. PG21 

• Correction: 80% of women take their husband’s name. 

o Lin, Luona. “About 8 in 10 Women in Opposite-Sex Marriages Say They Took Their  Husband’s Last Name.” Pew Research Center, September 7, 2023.  

https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/09/07/about-eight-in-ten women-in-opposite-sex-marriages-say-they-took-their-husbands-last-name/ PG22 

• Joel, Samantha, and MacDonald,Geoff. “We’re Not That Choosy: Emerging Evidence of a  Progression Bias in Romantic Relationships.” Personality and Social Psychology Review  25, no. 4 (2021): 317-343. https://doi.org/10.1177/10888683211025860. PG23 
• Joel, Samantha, and MacDonald, Geoff. “We’re Not That Choosy: Emerging Evidence of a  Progression Bias in Romantic Relationships.” Personality and Social Psychology Review  25, no. 4 (2021): 317-343. https://doi.org/10.1177/10888683211025860. 
• Shach, Ruth, and Lynn Zhao. “By the Power of Default.” Advanced Hindsight, March 22,  2018. https://advanced-hindsight.com/blog/by-the-power-of-default/. 
• “The Negativity Bias.” The Decision Lab, accessed December 2023. 

https://thedecisionlab.com/biases/negativity-bias. 

PG26  

• WFYI News. “Fixing the Obamacare ‘glitch’ that pushed one couple to divorce.” Published May 20, 2022. https://www.wfyi.org/news/articles/fixing-the-obamacare glitch-that-pushed-one-couple-to-divorce. 

PG27  

• McGraw, Peter. “Not Lonely. Onely.” Solo, September 10, 2020.  

https://petermcgraw.org/not-lonely-onely. 

• Arnold, Lisa, and Christina Campbell. “The High Price of Being Single in America.” The  Atlantic, January 14, 2013. https://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/01/the high-price-of-being-single-in-america/267043/. 

PG28 

• McGraw, Peter. “The Bachelor in Colonial America and Beyond.” Solo, August 11, 2022.  https://petermcgraw.org/the-bachelor-in-colonial-america-and-beyond. 

PG29  

• Mount, Harry. “Should We Tax the Childless?” The Telegraph, March 8, 2023. PG30 
• Kaiser Family Foundation. “2021 Employer Health Benefits Survey.” Published  November 10, 2021. https://www.kff.org/mental-health/report/2021-employer-health benefits-survey/. 

PG31 

• Kravel-Tov, Michal, and Kinneret Lahad. “It Is My Turn Now: How and Why ‘Single’  Women Complain about Non-Reciprocal Gift-Giving.” Sociology:1–18. DOI:  10.1177/00380385211024081. 

Chapter 3: Someday 

PG38 

• Bicycle Cards. “Old Maid: How to Play.” https://bicyclecards.com/how-to-play/old-maid. PG 40  
• McCurdy, John Gilbert. Citizen Bachelors: Manhood and the Creation of the United  States. Ithica: Cornell University Press, 2009. 
• Morgan, Pippa. “5 Useful Words that Describe the Dating Scene in China.” YoYo Chinese  Blog, February 16, 2016. https://yoyochinese.com/blog/learn-chinese-love-dating-in china-single-dog-leftover-woman-marriage. 
• Chudacoff, Howard P. The Age of the Bachelor: Creating an American Subculture. Princeton: Princeton University Press, 2000. 

PG 41 

• Barrie, J. M. Peter Pan: The Original Story. New York: HarperFestival, 2003. PG 42 
• Brown, Anna. “A Profile of Single Americans.” Pew Research Center, August 20, 2020.  https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profile-of-single-americans/. • Sisanie. “The Oldest Person In The World Said THIS Is The Key To Living A Long Life!” KIIS  FM, February 3, 2023. https://kiisfm.iheart.com/featured/sisanie/content/2023-02-02- the-oldest-person-in-the-world-said-this-is-the-key-to-living-a-long-life/. PG 43  
• World Bank. “Disability Inclusion.” Last updated April 03, 2023.  

https://www.worldbank.org/en/topic/disability. 

• Tyson, Gareth, Vasile C. Perta, Hamed Haddadi, Michael C. Seto. “A First Look at User  Activity on Tinder.” Queen Mary University of London, July 2016.  

https://www.eecs.qmul.ac.uk/~tysong/files/Tinder.pdf. 

• Statista Research Department. “U.S. population: male to female ratio, by state 2020.”  Published October 10, 2023. https://www.statista.com/statistics/301946/us-population males-per-100-females-by-state/. 
• Correction: China’s ratio is 105 men to 100 women. 

o StatisticsTimes. “List of Countries by Sex Ratio.” Published September 8, 2021.  https://statisticstimes.com/demographics/countries-by-sex-ratio.php. 

PG 44 

• Georgetown University, Center on Education and the Workforce. “Women Increasingly  Outnumber Men at U.S. Colleges, But Why?” Published September 10, 2021.  https://feed.georgetown.edu/access-affordability/women-increasingly-outnumber-men at-u-s-colleges-but-why/. 
• Channel, Jacob. “Homeownership Gender Gap: Single Women Own More Homes Than  Single Men.” LendingTree, updated on January 23rd, 2023.  

https://www.lendingtree.com/home/mortgage/single-women-own-more-homes-than single-men-do/. 

• Correction: Age gap is now 5.9 years.  

o Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). “Life Expectancy in the U.S.  Dropped for the Second Year in a Row in 2021.” Page last reviewed August 31,  2022. 

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/pressroom/nchs_press_releases/2022/20220831.htm . 

• Lahad, Kinneret. A Table for One: A Critical Reading of Singlehood, Gender and Time. Manchester: Manchester University Press, 2017. 
• McGraw, Peter. “Waiting – Part 1.” Solo, July 8, 2021. https://petermcgraw.org/waiting part-1. 
• McGraw, Peter. “Waiting – Part 2.” Solo, July 15, 2021. https://petermcgraw.org/waiting part-2. 

PG 45  

• Notkin, Melanie. Savvy Auntie: The Ultimate Guide for Cool Aunts, Great-Aunts,  Godmothers, and All Women Who Love Kids. New York: William Morrow, 2011. 

PG 46 

• World Health Organization (WHO). “Violence against women.” Published March 9, 2021.  https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/violence-against-women. • Correction: The rate for men is 26 percent. 

o Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). “Fast Facts: Preventing  Intimate Partner Violence.” Page last reviewed October 11, 2022.  

https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/intimatepartnerviolence/fastfact.html. • Bloch & Chapleau. “Prenuptial Agreements.” Accessed December 2023.  https://www.blochchapleau.com/family-law/prenuptial-agreements/. 

PG 47 

• McGraw, Peter. “The Science of Single Living.” Solo, December 26, 2019.  https://petermcgraw.org/one-is-a-whole-number-the-worlds-expert-on-the-science-of single-living-bella-depaulo/. 

PG 48  

• McGraw, Peter. “The Science of Single Living.” Solo, December 26, 2019.  https://petermcgraw.org/one-is-a-whole-number-the-worlds-expert-on-the-science-of single-living-bella-depaulo/. 

PG 49  

• Stutzer, Alois, and Bruno S. Frey. “Does Marriage Make People Happy, or Do Happy  People Get Married?” IZA Discussion Paper No. 1811, (October 2005).  

http://dx.doi.org/10.2139/ssrn.375960. 

Chapter 4: A World Built for You 

PG 54 

• Ortiz-Ospina, Esteban. “The Rise of Living Alone: How One-Person Households Are  Becoming Increasingly Common Around the World.” Our World in Data, December 10,  2019. https://ourworldindata.org/living-alone. 

PG 55  

• Berggren, Henrik and Lars Trägårdh. The Swedish Theory of Love: Individualism and  Social Trust in Modern Sweden. Translated by Stephen Donovan. Seattle: University of  Washington Press, 2022.
• Correction: South Korea is the seventh most collectivistic country in the world. • Načinović Braje, Ivana, Maja Klindžić, and Lovorka Galetić. “The Role of Individual  Variable Pay in a Collectivistic Culture Society: An Evaluation.” Economic Research Ekonomska Istraživanja, vol. 32, no. 1 (2019): 1352-1372.  

https://doi.org/10.1080/1331677X.2018.1559073.  

Pg 56 

• Jacobs, Harrison, and Myelle Lansat. “I visited the notoriously ritzy ‘Beverly Hills of South  Korea,’ where the streets are lined with Teslas, Maseratis, and Porsches.” Business  Insider, edited by Libby Kane, June 22, 2018.  

https://www.businessinsider.com/gangnam-cheongdam-apgujeong-richest neighborhood-south-korea-photos-tour-2018-6. 

• Correction: Data is from the Korea Consumer Agency 

o So, Won. “Weddings in South Korea – statistics & facts.” Statista, August 25, 2023.  https://www.statista.com/topics/9898/weddings-in-south 

korea/#topicOverview. 

o So, Won. “Average cost of a wedding in South Korea from 2018 to 2023.” Statista,  September 4, 2023. https://www.statista.com/statistics/1327964/south-korea average-wedding-cost/. 

o Shin Ji-hye. “[Weekender] Burden of wedding expenditure weighs heavily on  Korean parents.” The Korea Herald, March 27, 2015.  

https://www.koreaherald.com/view.php?ud=20150327000659. 

• Babe, Ann. “Tune in, drop out.” Rest of World, July 14, 2020.  

https://restofworld.org/2020/south-korea-honjok-loneliness/. 

• McGraw, Peter. “Meet The Honjoks.” Solo, November 26, 2020.  

https://petermcgraw.org/meet-the-honjoks. 

PG 57 

• Kislev, Elyakim. Happy Singlehood: The Rising Acceptance and Celebration of Solo Living. Berkeley: University of California Press, 2019. 
• Coontz, Stephanie. Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage. London:  Penguin Books, 2006. 

Pg 58 

• Coates, Ta-Nehisi. “Women, It’s OK to Rethink Whether to Get Married.” The Root,  September 16, 2013. 

PG 59 

• Correction: Status Single is the correct title.  

o Kundu, Sreemoyee Piu. Status Single: Truth About Being a Single Woman in India. Bhopal: Manjul Publishing House, 2018. 

• Gaines, Cork. “A country slightly bigger than Texas is projected to match the US  population by 2050 — and it shows how radically the world is changing.” Business  Insider, August 20, 2023.
• National Population Commission (NPC) [Nigeria] and ICF. 2019. Nigeria Demographic and  Health Survey 2018. Abuja, Nigeria, and Rockville, Maryland, USA: NPC and ICF. • Oguntayo, Gbenga. “The Struggle of Being Single in Lagos.” Pulse Nigeria, October 11,  2018. https://www.pulse.ng/lifestyle/relationships-weddings/pulse-blogger-the struggle-of-being-single-in-lagos/yjke004. 
• Correction: The Bella Naija interview is miscited and should be ignored.  

PG 60  

• Oguntayo, Gbenga. “The Struggle of Being Single in Lagos.” Pulse Nigeria, October 11,  2018. https://www.pulse.ng/lifestyle/relationships-weddings/pulse-blogger-the struggle-of-being-single-in-lagos/yjke004. 
• Hammond, Ron J. “Divorce and Separation.” Sociology of the Family, Chapter 12.  https://socialsci.libretexts.org/Courses/Collin_College/Sociology_of_the_Family/06%3A _Marriage/6.11%3A_Divorce_and_Separatio
• Correction: While the divorce rate was lower in 1960 than now (and even lower in 1808),  the cited statistics are not correct. Apologies.  
• Morin, Rich. “Is Divorce Contagious?” Pew Research Center Short Reads, October 21,  2013. https://www.pewrecdxxsearch.org/short-reads/2013/10/21/is-divorce contagious/. 
• Klinenberg, Eric. Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living  Alone.London: Penguin Books, 2013. 

PG61  

• Davis, Lizzie. “Listen to the enchanting sound of the world’s oldest song, the Hurrian  Hymn.” Classic FM, April 3, 2021. https://www.classicfm.com/music 

news/videos/oldest-song-melody/. 

PG 63  

• Biron, Bethany. “Alibaba’s Singles Day beats Amazon’s estimated Prime Day sales within  an hour and crushes analyst estimates for Black Friday and Cyber Monday combined.”  Business Insider, November 11, 2019. https://www.businessinsider.com/alibaba-singles day-beats-amazons-estimated-prime-day-sales-2019-11. 
• Brown, Anna. “A Profile of Single Americans.” Pew Research Center, August 20, 2020.  https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profile-of-single-americans/ PG 64  
• Correction: 66% of digital nomads are single. 

o “Digital Nomad Statistics: How Big Is The Digital Nomad Movement in 2023?”  Two Tickets Anywhere. Updated on October 20, 2023.  

https://www.twoticketsanywhere.com/digital-nomad-statistics/. 

• Marsh, Kris. The Love Jones Cohort: Single and Living Alone in the Black Middle Class. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2023 

PG 65  

• Meadows, Richard. Optionality: How to Survive and Thrive in a Volatile World. Raleigh:  Thales Press, 2020.

Chapter 5: Single to Solo 

PG 72 

• Camus, Albert. The Myth of Sisyphus. Translated by Justin O’Brien. London: Penguin  Classics, 2013. 

PG 73 

• American Psychological Association. “A Conversation with Timothy Wilson.” Monitor on  Psychology, February 2018. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2018/02/conversation-wilson • Absolute Ethiopia. “The Culture Behind the Bull Jumping Ceremony.” Accessed  December 2023. https://absoluteethiopia.com/the-culture-behind-the-bull-jumping ceremony/.  

PG75 

• Yockey, Katie. “Peter Pan Syndrome: Definition, Symptoms, and Causes.” Medical News  Today. Last modified August 30, 2022. Medically reviewed by Kendra Kubala, PsyD,  Psychology. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/peter-pan 

syndrome#relationships. 

• University of Granada. “Overprotecting parents can lead children to develop ‘Peter Pan  Syndrome’.” ScienceDaily, accessed December 2023.  

www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/05/070501112023.htm 

PG80  

• Cuncic, Arlin. “Understanding the Spotlight Effect: Why We Feel More Visible Than We  Are.” Verywell Mind. Last modified August 28, 2023.  

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-the-spotlight-effect-3024470. 

• Gilovich, Thomas, Victoria Husted Medvec, and Kenneth Savitsky. “The Spotlight Effect in  Social Judgment: An Egocentric Bias in Estimates of the Salience of One’s Own Actions  and Appearance.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 78, no. 2 (February 2000):  211-222. 

PG81  

• Frankl, Viktor E. Man’s Search for Meaning. Boston: Beacon Press, 2006. 

Chapter 6: Just May 

PG87 

• Newman, Kristin. What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding: A Memoir. New York:  Crown, 2014. 

PG89 

• Cagen, Sasha. “The Quirkyalone: Celebrating Single Life.” Utne Reader, October 31, 2007.  https://www.utne.com/mind-and-body/the-quirkyalone/

PG 93  

• Perel, Esther. Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence. New York: Harper  Paperbacks, 2017.

Chapter 7: No Way 

PG 98  

• Rollins, Henry. “The One Decision that Changed My Life Forever.” Big Think, June 12,  2012. https://bigthink.com/videos/henry-rollins-the-one-decision-that-changed-my-life forever-2/
• Rollins, Henry. “Henry Rollins on why relationships don’t work for him.” Interview by Joe  Rogan. Uploaded by JRE Clips, February 15, 2017.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpaX2j75UKk. 

PG 99  

• Dominus, Susan. “Not Bob Hope’s U.S.O.” The New York Times, November 13, 2005.  https://www.nytimes.com/2005/11/13/magazine/not-bob-hopes-uso.html. • Rollins, Henry. “Henry Rollins in South Sudan with Drop In The Bucket.” Drop In The  Bucket, May 24, 2011. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdAEd2Gyfeg. 

PG 100 

• Linder, Douglas O. “Susan B. Anthony: A Biography.” Famous Trials. Accessed December  2023. https://www.famous-trials.com/anthony/440-biography. 
• Wikipedia. 2023. “Elizabeth Cady Stanton.”Last modified November 12, 2023.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elizabeth_Cady_Stanton.  
• “Courting Confrontation: The Arrest of Susan B. Anthony.” Featured Document Display.  East Rotunda Gallery, Thursday, November 3, 2022 – Thursday, January 12, 2023.  National Archives Museum. https://museum.archives.gov/featured-document-display courting-confrontation-arrest-susan-b-anthony. 

PG 101  

• Brown, Anna. “A Profile of Single Americans.” Pew Research Center, August 20, 2020.  https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profile-of-single-americans/. • DePaulo, Bella. Single at Heart: The Power, Freedom, and Heart-Filling Joy of Single Life. New York: Apollo Publishers, 2023. 
• Chamber of Commerce Team. “Data Reveals Loneliest Cities in America.” Accessed  December 2023. https://www.chamberofcommerce.org/loneliest-cities-in-america. PG 102 
• Adult Development Study. Harvard Second Generation Study. Accessed December 2023.  https://www.adultdevelopmentstudy.org/.  
• Vedantam, Shankar. “Guys, We Have A Problem: How American Masculinity Creates  Lonely Men.” NPR, March 19, 2018. https://www.npr.org/transcripts/594719471. 

PG103  

• Tworek, Eleana and Xintian Wang. “Meet the ‘Hermettes’: A Secret Society of Women  Who Prefer to Be Left Alone.” The Daily Beast, Updated May 23, 2022. Published May  22, 2022. https://www.thedailybeast.com/meet-the-hermettes-a-secret-society-of women-who-prefer-to-be-left-alone. 
• McGraw, Peter. “Risa Mickenberg And The Hermettes.” Solo, September 29, 2022.  https://petermcgraw.org/risa-mickenberg-and-the-hermettes.

PG104  

• Brown, Jason M. “Biography of a Contemplative Ecologist.” HolyScapes, May 4, 2023.  https://holyscapes.org/2023/05/04/biography-of-a-contemplative-ecologist/. • Payton, Brian. “The Oracle of Oyster River.” Hakai Magazine, September 11, 2018.  https://hakaimagazine.com/features/the-oracle-of-oyster-river/. 
• McGraw, Peter. “Great Onelers.” Solo, April 29, 2021. https://petermcgraw.org/great onelers. 

PG 105 

• Brock, Jared A. “The Monk Who Saved a River.” Change Your Mind Change Your Life,  December 8, 2020. https://medium.com/change-your-mind/the-monk-who-saved-a river-76c8719e82db. 
• Rossine, Fernando W., Ricardo Martinez-Garcia, Allyson E. Sgro, Thomas Gregor, and  Corina E. Tarnita. “Eco-evolutionary Significance of ‘Loners’.” PLOS Biology, March 2020.  https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pbio.3000642. 
• Fuller-Wright, Liz. “Loners Help Society Survive, Say Princeton Ecologists.” Princeton  University News, March 27, 2020. https://www.princeton.edu/news/2020/03/27/loners help-society-survive-say-princeton-ecologists. 

PG106  

• Goodall, Reece. “Inside ‘Sologamy’: The Trend of Marrying Yourself.” The Boar, October  23, 2021. https://theboar.org/2021/10/sologamy-marrying-yourself/. 

PG107  

• Rosewood Hotels “Marry Oneself Journey at Rosewood Mayakoba.” Published March 01,  2018. https://www.rosewoodhotels.com/en/mayakoba-riviera 

maya/media/press/2018/rosewood-mayakoba-marry-oneself-journey. 

• Lahad, Kinneret, and Michal Kravel Tovi. “Happily-ever after: Self-marriage, the claim of  wellness, and temporal ownership.” The Sociological Review, 2019.  

https://www.academia.edu/40979201/Happily_ever_after_Self_marriage_the_claim_of _wellness_and_temporal_ownership. 

• McGraw, Peter. “Waiting – Part 1.” Solo, July 8, 2021. https://petermcgraw.org/waiting part-1. 

Chapter 8: New Way 

PG111 

• Josh Gray-Emmer. “DTLA Dinner Club.” Published May 21, 2015.  

https://www.dtladinnerclub.com/josh_gray_emmer.  

• McGraw, Peter. “Dating Friends And Sleeping With Strangers – A Valentine’s Day  Episode.” Solo, February 13, 2020. https://petermcgraw.org/dating-friends-and sleeping-with-strangers-a-valentines-day-episode. 

PG114 

• Gahran, Amy. Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator: Uncommon Love and Life. New  York: Seal Press, 2016.

PG 117  

• March of the Penguins. Directed by Luc Jacquet. 2005. 

PG 118 

• Joseph, Henrich, Robert Boyd, and Peter J. Richerson. “The puzzle of monogamous  marriage.” Phil. Trans. R. Soc. B 367 (2012): 657–669. doi:10.1098/rstb.2011.0290. • Ballard, Jamie. “One-third of Americans say their ideal relationship is non monogamous.” YouGov, January 31, 2020.  

https://today.yougov.com/society/articles/27639-millennials-monogamy-poly-poll survey-data. 

PG 120 

• Better Sleep Council. “Survey: American Couples Have Trouble in Bed – Sleeping Together  Can be a Nightmare for Couples.”Published April 9, 2017.  

https://bettersleep.org/research/survey-american-couples-have-trouble-in-bed/. PG 121  

• Sexuality Education Resource Centre (SERC ). “Polyamory.” Accessed December 2023. https://serc.mb.ca/sexual-health-info/relationships/polyamory/. 

PG 122 

• Sheff, Elisabeth. The Polyamorists Next Door: Inside Multiple-Partner Relationships and  Families. Lanham: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, 2015. 

PG123  

• Plato. The Symposium. Edited, translated, and with an introduction by Christopher Gill.  London: Penguin Classics, 2003. 
• Fredrickson, Barbara L., Ph.D. Love 2.0: How Our Supreme Emotion Affects Everything We  Feel, Think, Do, and Become. New York: Avery, 2013. 

PG123-124 

• Correction: The publication date is 2009 (not 2014). 

o “‘Friends with Benefits’ Common on Campus.” NBC News, April 2, 2009.  https://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/friends-benefits-common campus-flna1c9465990. 

• Cohen, Rhaina. The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the  Center. New York: St. Martin’s Press, 2024. 

PG125  

• Lefebvre, Sienna Vittoria. “What is a Boston Marriage and Where Did the Term Come  From?” In Magazine, October 18, 2022. https://inmagazine.ca/2022/10/what-is-a boston-marriage-and-where-did-the-term-come-from/. 
• Sow, Aminatou, and Ann Friedman. Big Friendship: How We Keep Each Other Close. New  York: Simon & Schuster, 2020. 
• Chisholm, Anne. “Iris Murdoch and an Enduring Love Affair.” The Guardian, September 6,  2012. https://www.theguardian.com/books/2012/sep/06/iris-murdoch-enduring-love affair.
• Songbird, Tyger. “This Landmark Swedish Court Case is a Huge Win for Asexual Rights.”  We Are Queer AF, August 13, 2022. https://www.wearequeeraf.com/this-landmark swedish-court-case-is-a-huge-win-for-asexual-rights/. 

PG126  

• WebMD Editorial Contributors. “What Does Aromantic Mean?” WebMD, July 05, 2023.  Medically Reviewed by C. Nicole Swiner, MD. https://www.webmd.com/sex/what-does aromantic-mean. 
• McGraw, Peter. “Asexuality.” Solo, June 11, 2020. https://petermcgraw.org/asexuality. • Mosbergen, Dominique. “Asexual Disorder? The Search For Ace Identity Is Part  Recognition, Part Redefinition.” HuffPost, updated December 6, 2017.  

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/asexual-disorder_n_3361472. 

PG 127  

• Mead, Margaret. Sex and Temperament in Three Primitive Societies. Morrow, 1963.  • Gadoua, Susan Pease, and Vicki Larson. The New ‘I Do’: Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics,  Realists, and Rebels. New York: Seal Press, 2014. 

PG128 

• “Mindy Kaling talks about the struggles of being a single mom.” Times of India,  September 15, 2022. https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life 

style/parenting/moments/mindy-kaling-talks-about-the-struggles-of-being-a-single mom/photostory/94221927.cms. 

• McGraw, Peter. “Solo Parents.” Solo, July 29, 2021. https://petermcgraw.org/solo parents. 

PG129 

• Easton, Dossie, and Janet W. Hardy. The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory,  Open Relationships & Other Adventures. Berkeley: Celestial Arts, 2009. 
• Gahran, Amy. Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator: Uncommon Love and Life. New  York: Seal Press, 2016. 

Chapter 9: Relationship Design 

PG133  

• Frost, Robert. “The Road Not Taken.” Poetry Foundation. Accessed December 2023.  https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44272/the-road-not-taken. 
• Nordgren, Andie. “The Short Instructional Manifesto for Relationship Anarchy.” Andie’s  Log, July 6, 2012. https://log.andie.se/post/26652940513/the-short-instructional manifesto-for-relationship. 

PG134  

• Michaels, Mark A., and Patricia Johnson. Designer Relationships: A Guide to Happy  Monogamy, Positive Polyamory, and Optimistic Open Relationships. Jersey City: Cleis  Press, 2015. 

PG 138  

• Finkel, Eli J. The All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work. New York:  Dutton, 2019.
• McGraw, Peter. “The All-or-Nothing Marriage.” Solo, January 12, 2023.  https://petermcgraw.org/the-all-or-nothing-marriage. 

PG140  

• McGraw, Peter. “Relationship Anarchy.” Solo, March 18, 2021.  

https://petermcgraw.org/relationship-anarchy. 

PG 148  

• McGraw, Peter. “Truth Or Truth With Monique Murad.” Solo, April 6, 2023.  https://petermcgraw.org/truth-or-truth-with-monique-murad. 

Chapter 10: A Model for a Remarkable Life 

PG 153  

• Peadoodles. “Peadoodles Online Store.” Accessed December 2023.  

https://peadoodles.square.site/. 

• McGraw, Peter. “Lisa’s Second Mountain.” Solo, March 27, 2020.  

https://petermcgraw.org/lisas-second-mountain. 

PG155  

• McLeod, Saul, PhD. “Maslow’s Hierarchy Of Needs.” Simply Psychology. Updated on  October 24, 2023. Reviewed by Olivia Guy-Evans, MSc.  

https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html. 

• Bridgman, Todd, Stephen Cummings, and John Ballard. “Who Built Maslow’s Pyramid? A  History of the Creation of Management Studies’ Most Famous Symbol and Its  Implications for Management Education.” Academy of Management Learning &  Education 18, no. 1 (2019): https://doi.org/10.5465/amle.2017.0351. 

PG157 

• Seligman, Martin E. P. Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well being. New York: Atria, 2012. 
• Kaufman, Scott Barry. Transcend: The New Science of Self-Actualization. New York:  TarcherPerigee, 2021. 

PG159  

• Correction: The World Happiness Report was published in 2012. 

o Helliwell, John, Richard Layard, and Jeffrey Sachs, eds. World Happiness Report. Accessed December 2023.  

https://www.earth.columbia.edu/sitefiles/file/Sachs%20Writing/2012/World%20 Happiness%20Report.pdf. 

Chapter 11: Foundation 

PG 169  

• Stulberg, Brad. “We’ve Reached Peak Wellness. Most of It Is Nonsense.” Outside Online. Updated May 12, 2022. https://www.outsideonline.com/health/wellness/wellness industry-lies-what-really-works/. 

PG170 

• Skin Cancer Foundation. “Sun Protection and Vitamin D.” Blog. Published on March 14,  2019. https://www.skincancer.org/blog/sun-protection-and-vitamin-d/.

PG171 

• McGraw, Peter. “The Power Of Thrift.” Solo, June 24, 2021. https://petermcgraw.org/the power-of-thrift. 

PG173  

• Schaffner, Anna Katharina, Ph.D. “How to Escape the Hedonic Treadmill and Be Happier.”  PositivePsychology.com. Published on September 5, 2016. Scientifically reviewed by  Maike Neuhaus, Ph.D. https://positivepsychology.com/hedonic-treadmill/. PG174 
• Friedman, Zack. “9 Simple Money Rules All On 1 Index Card.” Forbes. Published on  March 9, 2017. https://www.forbes.com/sites/zackfriedman/2017/03/09/9-money rules-index-card/?sh=1998f8392c09. 

PG 175  

• Watters, Ethan. Urban Tribes: A Generation Redefines Friendship, Family, and  Commitment. New York: Bloomsbury USA, 2003. 
• Kislev, Elyakim. “How do relationship desire and sociability relate to each other among  singles? Longitudinal analysis of the Pairfam survey.” Journal of Social and Personal  Relationships 37, no. 8-9 (2020): 2634-2650.  

https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407520933000. 

PG 180 

• McGraw, Peter. “Singles and Their Pets.” February 21, 2022.  

https://petermcgraw.org/singles-and-their-pets/. 

Chapter 12: Flourish 

PG 185 

• McGraw, Peter. “The Queen Of Meaning – Lisa Lampanelli.” Solo, January 13, 2022.  https://petermcgraw.org/the-queen-of-meaning-lisa-lampanelli/. 

PG 188  

• McGraw, Peter. “Beauty and Brains With James Warner.” Solo, June 29, 2023.  https://petermcgraw.org/beauty-and-brains-with-james-warner/. 

PG190 

• Cartwright, Mark. “Sisyphus.” World History Encyclopedia. Published on December 13,  2016. https://www.worldhistory.org/sisyphus/. 
• Cruickshank, John. “Albert Camus.” Encyclopædia Britannica. Fact-checked by the  editors. Last Updated: November 3, 2023.  

https://www.britannica.com/biography/Albert-Camus. 

PG191  

• Camus, Albert. The Myth of Sisyphus. Translated by Justin O’Brien. London: Penguin  Classics, 2013. 
• Csikszentmihalyi, Mihaly. Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. New York: Harper  & Row, 1990. 

PG192 

• Dattilo, D. J., Shaw, J., and Davis, H. C. “The relationship between flow and loneliness: A  prospective study.” Leisure Sciences 45, no. 1 (2022): 101-113.

PG193  

• Csikszentmihalyi, Mihaly. Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. New York: Harper  & Row, 1990. 

PG196 

• Park, J., and MacDonald, G. “Single and partnered individuals’ sexual satisfaction as a  function of sexual desire and activities: Results using a sexual satisfaction scale  demonstrating measurement invariance across partnership status.” Archives of Sexual  Behavior 51, no. 1 (2022): 547-564. doi:10.1007/s10508-021-02153-y. 
• General Social Survey. National Opinion Research Center. Accessed December 2023.  https://gss.norc.org/.  

Chapter 13: The Case for Solitude  

PG 202  

• Reid, Panthea. “Virginia Woolf.” Encyclopædia Britannica. Fact-checked by the editors.  Last updated August 09, 2023. https://www.britannica.com/biography/Virginia-Woolf. PG 203 
• Correction: The book sold 100,000 copies (not 500,000). 

o Scutts, Joanna. “The Writer Who Taught American Women How to Live Alone.”  Time, updated April 11, 2016. https://time.com/4243028/marjorie-hillis-history/. • Coplan, Robert J., Will E. Hipson, Kristen A. Archbell, Laura L. Ooi, Danielle Baldwin, and  Julie C. Bowker. “Seeking More Solitude: Conceptualization, Assessment, and  Implications of Aloneliness.” Personality and Individual Differences 148 (October 2019):  17-26. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2019.05.020. 

PG204 

• Correction: The Hamilton Project survey is miscited. However, it has been my experience based on anecdotal evidence that married mothers often complain that they do not  have enough time to themselves, whereas single women are much less like to have the  same complaint. This was especially the case during the Covid pandemic. 
• Feist, Gregory J. “Personality in Science: Three Faces of the Muse.” Psychological Inquiry 10, no. 1 (1999): 20-36. 

PG 206 

• Richards, Ruth. “Solitude: A Creative Wellspring.” Psychology of Aesthetics, Creativity,  and the Arts 6, no. 2 (2012): 109-119. 
• Johnson, Fenton. At the Center of All Beauty: Solitude and the Creative Life. W. W. New  York: Norton & Company, 2020. 
• Currey, Mason. Daily Rituals: How Artists Work. New York: Knopf, 2013. PG 207  
• Correction: the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin study was published in 2018. o Nguyen, Thuy-vy T., Richard M. Ryan, and Edward L. Deci. “Solitude as an  Approach to Affective Self-Regulation.” Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 44, no. 1 (2018): 92-106. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167217733073.

o Correction: The 2015 study was miscited. This work was published in 1982 in the  book Loneliness: A sourcebook of current theory, research and therapy. 

• Larson, R. W., Csikszentmihalyi, M., & Graef, R. “Time alone in daily experience:  Loneliness or renewal?” In Loneliness: A sourcebook of current theory, research and  therapy, edited by L. A. Peplau and D. Perlman, (1982): 40-53. Wiley Interscience. 
• Long, Christopher R., and James R. Averill. “Solitude: An Exploration of Benefits and  Liabilities.” Psychological Bulletin 129, no. 2 (2003): 163-184. 

PG208  

• Castigliano, Federico. Flâneur: The Art of Wandering the Streets of Paris. Scotts Valley:  CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform, 2017. 

PG 209  

• McGraw, Peter. “Flâneuring.” Solo, February 18, 2021.  

https://petermcgraw.org/flaneuring. 

• Correction: the Journal of Marketing Research paper was miscited: Should be Liu and  colleagues in 2020.  
• Liu, P. J., & Min, K. E. 2020. “Where Do You Want to Go for Dinner? A Preference  Expression Asymmetry in Joint Consumption.” Journal of Marketing Research, 57(6),  1037-1054. https://doi.org/10.1177/0022243720949497. 

PG 210 

• Jackson, Sarah. “Japanese Man Who Rents Himself Out to ‘Do Nothing’ for a Living Says  He Will ‘Reply to Chitchat, but That’s It’.” Business Insider, January 8, 2022.  https://www.businessinsider.com/japanese-man-shoji-morimoto-do-nothing-rent-a man-chitchat-2022-1. 
• McGraw, Peter. “Alone Not at Home: What do Singles do Alone in Public?” January 18,  2022. https://petermcgraw.org/alone-not-at-home-what-do-singles-do-alone-in-public/. 

PG 211 

• McGraw, Peter. “Alone Not at Home: What do Singles do Alone in Public?” January 18,  2022. https://petermcgraw.org/alone-not-at-home-what-do-singles-do-alone-in-public/. • Ratner, Rebecca K., and Rebecca W. Hamilton. “Inhibited from Bowling Alone.” Journal of  Consumer Research 42, no. 2 (August 2015): 266-283.  

What are You Waiting For?  

PG 217  

• Edwards, Marie, and Eleanor Hoover. The Challenge of Being Single. Toronto: Signet,  1974. 

PG 218 

• Campbell, Joseph. The Hero with a Thousand Faces. Princeton: Princeton University  Press, 1990. 

PG 219 

• McGraw, Peter. “The Promise Of A Brighter Kingdom.” Solo, April 15, 2021.  https://petermcgraw.org/the-promise-of-a-brighter-kingdom.

• Hudson, Kim. The Virgin’s Promise: Writing Stories of Feminine Creative, Spiritual and  Sexual Awakening. Studio City: Michael Wiese Productions, 2010.